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a heart ©WV Theme...              #39A / 39B                ...individual<--->individual

  TOUGH LOVE / SCAPEGOATING 

Sometimes kindness does more harm than good.  If I care about another’s development and learning to accept responsibility then I shouldn’t pamper, spoil, mollycoddle, or indulge. Often, helping in a way that does not involve outright giving or meeting all needs is a better approach. Similarly, not explicitly instructing, but rather fostering conditions that allow independent discovery (even if that means learning from mistakes) can provide more meaningful lessons. Rather than accepting excuses or shortcomings, I should confront this person and communicate my expectations as to rectifying behavior. (Note: Another tough way to treat people, characterized more by hate than love, is scapegoating. This involves discriminating against a person by unfairly blaming him or her for some unfortunate situation.)

Related Words, Beliefs, Background -- 46 entries

More to Explore -- Worldview Theme #39A: Tough Love

Tough Love (from online encyclopedia)
Tough Love, by Dianne K. Daeg de Mott (article from Encyclopedia of Childhood and Adolescence)
Tough Love Parenting--When Kids Steal 
Enabling and Rescuing vs. Tough Love  (escaping from addiction / codependency) 
Tough Love and Discipline Problems / Treatment Options
Resources for Parents of Troubled Teens (from 4 Troubled Teens website)
"Tough Love" Health Article (from Health Online website)
Tough Love--Solutions and Support for Healthy Parenting (promotes behavior modification program for parents)
Tough Love -- from the Natural Child Project (resources for caring parents)
Positive Discipline (from ERIC Digest)
Parenting Style and Its Correlates (from ERIC Digest)
Inquiry Education  (from online encyclopedia)
Tough Love -- Is Love Ever Easy?
Tough Love for the Needy  (from Advocates for Self Government)
Tough Love, by Carlin Flora (Psychology Today article about intervention to helping an addict quit)
Substance Abuse & Tough Love   (from The Washingtonian)
Tough Love and Substance Abuse (Christian perspective)
Shut Up, Stop Whining, and Get a Life, by Larry Winget
The Nanny State, by David Harsanyi (about the 2007 book critical of efforts to overly protect children)
Welfare Reform  (from online encyclopedia -- some would cite this as example of society embracing tough love)    
The Miracle Worker (review of movie about Anne Sullivan's "tough love" approach to teaching blind, deaf Helen Keller)
The Trouble With Tough Love, by Maia Szalavitz (Jan. 2006 Washington Post article)
The Cult That Spawned the Tough Love Industry, by Maia Szalavitz (August 2007 Mother Jones article)
Strict Upbringing Can Harm Children (2006 article reports on Swiss study) 
quotes about parenting / child raising (includes "Children Learn What They Live" by Dorothy L. Neite)

More to Explore -- Worldview Theme #39B: Scapegoating

Scapegoat / Scapegoating  (from online encyclopedia)
Prejudice (from online encyclopedia)
Discrimination (from online encyclopedia)
Hate crime (from online encyclopedia)
Racism (from online encyclopedia)
White Supremacy (from online encyclopedia)
Anti-Semitism (from online encyclopedia)
Aryan Nations (website preaching "they must be exterminated"}
Pan Aryan National Front 
Poisoning the Web: Hatred Online (from Law Enforcement Agency Resource Network)
A Policy Maker's Guide to Hate Crimes (U.S. Dept. of Justice publication online)
Scapegoat Theory
Links: Scapegoating
Scapegoating Research & Remedies (from The Scapegoat Society)
Scapegoat    (from Answers.com)
Scapegoating -- from Political Research Associates
Scapegoating Groups (an essay)
Scapegoating and Psychodynamics
Scapegoating of Youth (from the National Youth Rights Organization)
Disliking Others Without Valid Reasons: Prejudice
Task Force for International Co-operation on Holocaust Education, Remembrance, and Research
quotes embracing anti-semitism
quotes related to prejudice
quotes related to hatred

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