song for theme #39A: Tough Love

“You Can’t Always Say What You Want”  by Stephen P. Cook

to be sung to the tune of “You Can’t Always Get What You Want” by Jagger & Richards/The Rolling Stones

Facing my soon to be ex-wife¹

I planned some verbal abuse

Saying I carried you for years in our marriage

Now get a job so I can cut you loose

Such mean words I couldn’t say to her

Though they were what she needed to hear

Doing a tough love number on my ex-wife

In her eyes looking at me I’d see tears

You can’t always say what you want

Nice words can be hollow, thin, and gaunt

Mean ones so aggressive they taunt

But if you speak your mind

You’ll do just fine

And say what you need to…All right!

As professor I had student workers

A poor supervisor was I

Some would half ass and cut corners

Which I might ignore, not let words fly

But doing that did them no favor

They needed confronting, looked in the eye

Hey man you’re slacker and bad actor

You’re half assin’ here, tell me why?

You can’t always say what you want

Nice words can be hollow, thin, and gaunt

Mean ones so aggressive they taunt

But if you speak your mind

You’ll do just fine

And say what you need to… All right!

As for unquestioning obedience²

Instilling it can take much work

Parents should be consistent and firm

But not fascist dictator jerks

My daughter only got one spanking

And she’s turned out pretty well

But after being caught big time lying

Her three year old ass hurt like hell

You can’t always say what you want

Nice words can be hollow, thin, and gaunt

Mean ones so aggressive they taunt

But if you speak your mind

You’ll do just fine

And say what you need to…All right!

Learning from mistakes and feedback

Is especially meaningful

Parents can use teachable moments

To help their kids outta some hole

My son I helped escape jealousy

And his life’s been a pretty good ride

Threatened by his sister’s success

I helped him feel good, take pride

You can’t always say what you want

Nice words can be hollow, thin, and gaunt

Mean ones so aggressive they taunt

But if you speak your mind

You’ll do just fine

And say what you need to… All right!

SONG—NOTES / COMMENTS     (this song is part of the author’s personal story)

1—This is an autobiographical song. For the record, the author has more than one ex-wife!

2—While instilling this could be a valid parenting goal for their very young children, many parents will be more comfortable

      eventually teaching them (as teenagers) to question authority, and think for themselves when appropriate.

Comment: ill planned tough love approaches can emotionally scar the loved ones they are supposed to help è their suffering è their acquiring emotional baggage. (Also see comment for theme #2B.)